Nov. 20, 2024. What follows is an anonymous report on life in Ukraine, from a friend.
The Ukraine war began 1000 days ago. For me, 30 days ago.
Air sirens every night, and sometimes even during the day. The first few nights I was excited. People around me were unphased. 3 weeks later, I am unphased. I can identify the newcomers: they giggle and talk loudly.
From the bunker I could not see or hear what was going outside. I knew soon enough I would get my chance.
Sunday 5:40 AM I was awoken by a big explosion. Car alarms went off. This was followed by a booming sound. Not an explosion. I suspect it was the Air Defense kicking in. I got my pajamas on, went to the bathroom, and then, the air sirens went off. Maybe I'm misremembering, but there was very little time between the two. I thought back to what our security advisor said: you typically have 3 minutes between the air siren, and when you want to get to shelter. That's not a fixed rule.
Psychologically I'm beginning to understand where the ukrainians were 1000 days ago. Why are we being attacked? What was the aim? Why has this foreign country pivoted its economy towards hurting us
So many people love to put their problem-solving mind to work and come up with logic chains of causation and solutions to this "war". "Russia is doing this as part of psychological warfare". "Russia does not want to see a neighboring country on the path to EU integration, and behind that NATO. See Georgia 2008."
That makes sense on a piece of paper in a history or IR book. But that's getting the point, and missing the noise.
It is one thing to understand intellectually. It is another to live this experience. Something that cannot be described through theories. Movies can give this insights. But however absurd the movie can be, it will only last 2-3 hours. This reality is absurd.
I find myself asking why, who, how, what. The same questions each day. No answers. Why is someone waking up at 3AM, how are they able to log onto a computer and pilot a UAV, or better yet, put on a uniform, climb into a MiG-31k. How is it that someone engineered this arcraft to have a trigger. How is it that somebody crafted this missile to inflict pain. Who decided to give an order for take off, who decided to pull a trigger that would launch a missile towards a location. How did they decide this location. Did they know they were killing children? Has the thought occured to - do none of this - and live peacefully without hurting your neighbor? Then, these individuals turn off their computer, or land their plane, go to the bathroom, debrief, and head back to their families. Ukrainians and Russians are siblings in the family tree of humanity. These are two highly sophisticated tribes in the great horde of humanity.
This paragraph does not do the absurdity justice. And I've only tasted 30 days. I can only begin to imagine how tired these people must be.
This being said, I must speak of the positive. Which outweights the negative.
The city is cleaner and safer than most western cities. The people are very well dressed. The women, beautiful and charming. I cringe at the thought of Ukrainians going to Paris, Rome, New York or Washington D.C. They will be horrified at the dirtiness, homelessness and insecurity of our western pearls. I've met a dozen ukrainians who came back to Kyiv since the war started. why? Because they want to be here and nowhere else. They gave up Canada, Poland, Germany, Spain, Latvia to come back to their homeland. They gave up the NATO shield. This is where they belong. There's a strong sense of nationalism, and under that banner, solidarity. The kind you do not see in the West. In France, these divisions have plagued the society for decades. In the US, we're jubilating to kill one another, the lines are drawn and we're waiting for that spark. The bourgeoisie has already closed the gates of their gated community so it might as well escalate.
There's an intimacy between millions here that I crave. I don't want to leave. I feel needed. In the west, you can die alone, nobody will care. But here, each soul matters. Just as it should be.